Why so sexist? Why cant we have a tampon sorcerer?

No you can't

Every tampon can tell you if you're pregnant... if it doesn't turn red until the end of the month - you're gonna be a mommy :D congrats!

This sounds like the beginning of a riddle.

Maybe you should be spending your time learning how to spell, as opposed to sticking a witch up your vagina.

Surely all tampons do that?